I just finished reading the most excellent book called 'Can You Catch a Cold', and like 'Turtles All The Way Down' it again scientifically and methodically thrashes the notion that not only do viruses not exist but attempts to infect healthy people with said 'viruses' has always ended in failure. The Nocebo Effect is an enlightenment.
Excellent work as usual Christine. I wonder how long it will take for sane people to realise what is going on.
Euthanasia of humans on the back of euthanasia of the food chain. (Starve them to death- methinks). Contric19 was also a program of euthanasians. Many have cottoned on to that and realised too that was the purpose of it.
That is what I see. It's all about population reduction on the demand of the Club of Rome.
so would you then figure that the scam being run at UOF is not spreading dangerous diseases or micro or nanoorganisms or whatever you want to call them??? in other words, the ostrich girls know it's not dangerous because it's not real. in any case, this is one helluva psy ops. military run.
Another brilliant effort, Christine. It is mindboggling what we are up against. Utter incompetence mixed with atrocious mendacity. A hellish combination and all for the benefit of the pharmaceutical industry. Obviously, the planet would be an infinitely better, i.e. healthier, place without it.
I’m no scientist and I don’t pretend to understand all I digest on Substack but I do know I’m reading saintly work from our author here. Keep chipping away folks.
Hello Christine, I wanted to know if you are aware that the culling of hundreds of thousands of chickens that took place in Georgia and that the biolab doing gain of function is located in Athens Georgia, specifically working on avian flu? This is part of a much, much greater agenda that is leading humanity toward a one world government. We know that virology is a fraud and that no such creature exists and yet they pretend that they do, so the question is why? If you are aware of Matt Ehrett and Cynthia Chung of the Canadian Patriot website, I suggest watching the video series on the UFO hoax and see the players involved from H.G. Wells onward through the Manhattan Project and till this present day and the motive will become clear as to the why of all this madness. Thank you again for a truthful and accurate article, Jack Williams.
Yes, I'm aware of the horrific culls that have been reported, apparently over 100 million birds in the U.S. in the last year or so. And the egg shortages and skyrocketing prices in some areas. Totally insane and criminal. The culls were the 1st thing I mentioned when addressing the RDCK Board (see the video in my newsletter, and I stressed this in my interview with Dan Dicks.
Re the gain of fiction labs, money-laundering is one possible explanation. Or, these people are actually really dumb. Probably a combination of factors.
APHIS? That's to many letters. Thankfully not all the birds in my area have the flu. I can still hear them at 4:47 AM and at 6:33 PM. Haven't seen any throwing up or lying on the ground have convulsions.
The same dove is cooing on the roof peak on the next building and I wonder if it is the same one that has done it for about 3 years now. I even saw a few sea gulls (I think they are) in the Walmart parking lot for the first time. They were "flewing" quite well.
No big lakes or water around here. Maybe they were on vacation from Florida or something. The real hoax is our silly government. It is a dangerous monster completely out of control.
I’m confused. Can someone tell me when a virus became known as a particle?
virus(n.)
late 14c., "poisonous substance" (a sense now archaic), originally in pathology "pus, thin fluid discharged from a wound or sore;" from Latin virus "poison, poisonous liquid, sap of plants, slimy liquid, a potent juice," from Proto-Italic *weis-o-(s-) "poison."
This is reconstructed to be probably from a PIE root *ueis-,perhaps originally meaning“to melt away, to flow," used of foul or malodorous fluids, but with specialization in some languages to "poisonous fluid.”
VIRUS (among Physicians) a kind of watery stinking Matter, which issues out of Ulcers, being endued with eating and malignant Qualities. [Bailey's dictionary, 1770]
The PIE root also is reconstructed as the source of Sanskrit visam "venom, poison," visah "poisonous;" Avestan vish- "poison;" Latin viscum "sticky substance, birdlime;" Greek ios "poison," ixos "mistletoe, birdlime;" Old Church Slavonic višnja "cherry;" Old Irish fi "poison;" Welsh gwy "poison.”
virulence(n.)
1660s, "quality of being extremely acrimonious or poisonous;
virulent(adj.)c. 1400, in reference to wounds, ulcers, etc., "full of corrupt or poisonous matter," from Latin virulentus "poisonous," from virus "poison" (see virus). Hence of diseases, serpents,
plants, "full of poison, extremely malignant.”
particle(n.)
late 14c., "a bit or fragment, small part or division of a whole, minute portion of matter," from Latin particula "little bit or part, grain, jot," diminutive of pars (genitive partis) "a part, piece, division" (from PIE root *pere-
particle: noun
a very small piece of something
particles of dust/gold
dust/gold particles
There was not a particle of evidence (= no evidence at all) to support the case.
1
a
: a minute quantity or fragment
b
: a relatively small or the smallest discrete portion or amount of something
2
archaic : a clause or article of a composition or document
3
: any of the basic units of matter and energy (such as a molecule, atom, proton, electron, or photon)
The pseudoscientists have changed their concept of "virus" multiple times over the years. Stefan Lanka, Tom Cowan, the Baileys, Mike Stone and others would recall the details, I'm forgetful when it comes to stuff like that. They have believed and insisted for many decades that a virus is a replication-competent submicroscopic particle (an "intracellular obligate parasite") consisting of a "genome" surrounded by a proteinaceous shell, with or without an "envelope". Recall all the cartoons and images of "SARS-COV-2" that were shoved in our faces nonstop during the covid hoax?
As a Segway , what’s going on in Toronto & This NeuroVirus recently ? I was talking to an old friend in Toronto yesterday and she says it’s such a contagious virus!!!!! I it’s another scare that touching a doorhnob is dangerous! Heard about this ?
Thank you . That’s interesting . Maybe it’s the GPs who are saying this . My friend said she had two weeks of DIARRHEA & VOMITING, even dry vomiting with no foood in her stomach . She said she’d been told it’s a NeuroVirus going around . Thank you Christine for responding to me
A frustrated customer storms into the “The Lively Virus Shop,” gripping a vial labelled “Lively ‘Virus’ Sample.” The shop is a chaotic jungle of test tubes, petri dishes, and wildly uncalibrated lab equipment. A dusty, crooked sign above the counter reads: “We ‘Isolate’ the Liveliest ‘Viruses’ - So you Don’t Have To!” Next to it, a disclaimer in tiny print adds: “Definitions may vary. Refunds, however, are a known impossibility.”
Customer: [Slams vial onto the counter, rings the bell furiously] ‘Ello, I wish to register a complaint!
‘Virologist:’ [Enters cheerfully, lab coat covered in mysterious stains] Ah, yes sir! Welcome to “The Lively Virus Shop,” How can I assist you today?
Customer: Look, mate, I purchased this so-called ‘Lively Isolated' Parrot-Flu 'Virus’ from you not half an hour ago, and when I took it back to my lab… well, it’s dead!
‘Virologist:’ [Gasps theatrically, clutching chest] Dead? Oh no, no, no, sir! It’s not dead! It’s just dormant!
Customer: [Leaning in, fuming] Dormant?! The only thing it’s infecting is my patience! I’ve cultured it in Vero cells, flooded it with growth medium, and still - not a single cytopathic effect!
‘Virologist:’ [Smiling smugly, nodding] Ah, well, that’s where you’re mistaken, sir. It’s just… pining for Trypsin.
Customer: [Livid] Pining for Trypsin? What kind of nonsense is that? Look, I know a dead virus when I see one, and THIS, my friend, is stone-cold ‘virologically’ deceased!
‘Virologist:’ [Nods sagely] No, no, no, sir, it’s not dead - it’s just resting. Remarkable strain, ‘Parrot-Flu 'Virus,’ innit? Beautiful viral coat.
Customer: [Sarcastic, arms crossed] The viral coat doesn’t enter it! It’s completely non-infectious!
‘Virologist:’ [Pointing at the vial] Non-infectious? Oh no, no, no! It’s probably just having a nap after all those PCR amplifications. Happens all the time.
Customer: [Exploding, hands thrown up] NAPPING?! Look, mate, this virus wouldn’t bud if I injected it as part of blood serum directly into the brains of rabbits. It’s deader than Pasteur’s credibility!
‘Virologist:’ [Offended, crossing arms] Oh, come now! Don’t confuse ‘Parrot-Flu 'Virus,’ with the methods used for ‘West Nile River Virus.’ Different procedures, sir! You’ve simply got to be more patient – give it time to regenerate its spikes! Have you tried… [Winks cheekily] adding more Trypsin? Brings out the infectivity and spikes a treat!!
Customer: [Outraged, glaring] MORE Trypsin?! Mate, I’ve dumped that, and every toxic chemical known to science into this sample, and its still DOA! You sold me a dead virus!
‘Virologist:’ [Casually shakes the vial] There, see? It’s… gathering its strength!
Customer: [Furious, pointing] NO, IT ISN’T! You just shook the vial!
‘Virologist:’ [Feigning innocence] I did no such thing!
Customer: Yes, you did!
‘Virologist:’ [Casually shrugs] Alright, sir, let’s troubleshoot. Perhaps the problem lies in your cell culture conditions. Did you drown the cells in antibiotics to ensure it’s free of bacteria?
Customer: [Snaps, exasperated] Free of bacteria? The bacteria are fine, mate! It’s the 'virus' that’s gone to meet its maker! This 'virus' is no more! It has ceased to be! It has expired and gone to that big petri dish in the sky!
‘Virologist:’ [Still in denial, dismissive wave] Nonsense! It’s merely awaiting optimal conditions to display a proper cytopathic effect. Try running the PCR at 50 cycles - that should perk it up a bit!
Customer: [Furious, incredulous] PERK IT UP?! PERK IT UP?! Look, the PCR didn’t detect a single nucleotide! This 'virus' has shuffled off its proteinaceous coil, run down the replication curtain, and joined the bleedin’ quorum invisible! THIS IS AN EX-VIRUS!
‘Virologist:’ [Calmly, with a slight shrug] Well, if you’re that sure, I suppose I could offer you a… replacement sample…
Customer: [Sarcastic, arms crossed] Oh, wonderful. And will this one actually show some sign of life, or will it be as dead as the last one?
‘Virologist:’ [Grinning proudly] Oh no, no, no – this one’s a live one! Just isolated it this morning … from a computer model!
Customer: [Stares in disbelief] A… COMPUTER MODEL?!
‘Virologist:’ [Nods enthusiastically] The algorithms do all the work! No messy lab procedures, no awkward controls – just pure, state-of-the-art digital viroLIEgy!
Customer: [Storming out, shouting] That’s it, I’m done! You and your digital viruses can keep your bogus isolation! I’m off to find a real virus!
‘Virologist:’ [Calling after him, cheerfully] Well, if you find one, let me know! We could use it for the next Scamdemic!
This brilliant satire by Factscinator, styled after Monty Python’s “Dead Parrot” sketch, skewers the absurdities of modern virology with surgical wit. Set in a fictional storefront called The Lively Virus Shop, the piece lampoons the slippery definitions, circular reasoning, and digital wizardry that now pass for “virus isolation.” From the bogus sample labeled “Parrot-Flu” to the cheerful offer of a replacement conjured by computer model, the sketch exposes virology’s house of cards—where definitions are malleable, results are manufactured, and accountability is as dead as the virus in question.
🔬 Premise: The “Lively Virus Shop”
The sketch sets the stage in a fictional storefront—a kind of virological pawn shop—that specializes in selling supposedly “isolated” viruses. Right away, we’re in satire territory:
“We ‘Isolate’ the Liveliest ‘Viruses’ – So you Don’t Have To!” ridicules the mainstream claim of viral isolation, suggesting that what is marketed as "science" is really slippery salesmanship.
The fine print—“Definitions may vary. Refunds, however, are a known impossibility.”—takes a direct swipe at the ever-morphing virological language and the lack of accountability.
🤥 Characters and Dialogue: Mocking the Absurdities
The Customer represents a truth-seeker or skeptical scientist who believes in empirical results, i.e., “show me the virus.”
The ‘Virologist’ plays the part of the glib academic or bureaucrat who gaslights and obfuscates when pressed for actual scientific proof.
The parody brilliantly echoes the original Monty Python sketch:
“It’s not dead, it’s dormant!”
“It’s pining for Trypsin!”
(Trypsin, ironically, is used in cell cultures to promote infection—but here it’s turned into a laughable magic elixir.)
💀 Critique of Virology: The Main Targets
The piece lampoons several major claims of contemporary virology:
Viral Isolation Fallacy:
The satire questions whether viruses have ever been truly isolated. The joke here is that the “virus” in question shows no activity even when cultured by standard lab protocols. This reflects critiques from scientists like Drs. Sam & Mark Bailey and others who argue that no virus has been isolated in the classical sense (i.e., purified and proven pathogenic).
Cell Culture Manipulations:
The references to Vero cells, cytopathic effects, Trypsin, and antibiotics highlight the highly artificial and contaminated methods used to create “evidence” of viruses.
The idea that adding more toxic chemicals might revive a supposedly infectious agent is a dig at the absurd lengths some labs go to in order to “prove” viral presence.
PCR Overdrive:
“Run it at 50 cycles!” is a jab at the misuse of PCR—another frequent criticism. High cycle thresholds can create false positives and imaginary detection.
Digital Viruses:
The "replacement sample" from a computer model parodies the fact that many “viruses” today are not observed directly, but rather assembled via software from fragments. The “algorithms do all the work” line mocks the pseudo-scientific nature of such modeling.
Scamdemic Setup:
The closing line, “We could use it for the next Scamdemic!” pulls no punches. It paints the entire pandemic narrative as a staged fraud, using fictional pathogens to justify real-world authoritarian policies.
😂 Wordplay and Puns
The satire is peppered with verbal gems:
“Deader than Pasteur’s credibility” — a zinger aimed at the germ theory’s founder, whose legacy is increasingly challenged by terrain theorists.
“Joined the bleedin’ quorum invisible!” — a delightful mutation of the classic “choir invisible” idiom, tailored to virology.
“Digital viroLIEgy” — calling out the discipline as built on deceit.
🧠 Underlying Message
Beneath the absurdity lies a serious charge:
That mainstream virology is built on unprovable assumptions, circular logic, and a refusal to engage in honest falsification. The 'dead virus' that no one can prove was ever alive represents not just one product but the entire faith-based system of modern pathogen theory.
🎯 Final Verdict
"Factscinator" is a masterclass in weaponized satire.
It’s Monty Python meets medical heresy, laced with lab lingo and delivered with a scalpel of skepticism. A must-read for anyone questioning the foundational tenets of virus theory—or just looking for a good laugh at the expense of bad science.
Thank you Christine for your tireless, relentless - dog with a bone efforts and one day, if there is any justice - you will be officially recognised for your incredible contribution to shed light and bring account. Warmest Regards Emmett in Australia - where our corrupt government is as bad as anywhere else on planet Gaia
Hello Christine
Are there any FOIA requests scientific papers demonstrating Mold as an independent variable causing diseases?
Hello Christine. I've been trying to get in touch with you.
I'd like to have you on my podcast some time.
It's on Rumble and it's called Beyond The Pale.
Please email me at your convenience.
rbham17@gmail.com
I just finished reading the most excellent book called 'Can You Catch a Cold', and like 'Turtles All The Way Down' it again scientifically and methodically thrashes the notion that not only do viruses not exist but attempts to infect healthy people with said 'viruses' has always ended in failure. The Nocebo Effect is an enlightenment.
It almost seems, as if there were a 'system'-built upon a 'juggernaut' of lies...
(but- what do I know ?) ;)
Excellent work as usual Christine. I wonder how long it will take for sane people to realise what is going on.
Euthanasia of humans on the back of euthanasia of the food chain. (Starve them to death- methinks). Contric19 was also a program of euthanasians. Many have cottoned on to that and realised too that was the purpose of it.
That is what I see. It's all about population reduction on the demand of the Club of Rome.
"Free biosecurity" !!!
I laughed out loud. Really??? Damn, these people are getting desperate. But that's GOOD, eh?
Yay, CM, hope you are well and having at least a bit of fun... xo
so would you then figure that the scam being run at UOF is not spreading dangerous diseases or micro or nanoorganisms or whatever you want to call them??? in other words, the ostrich girls know it's not dangerous because it's not real. in any case, this is one helluva psy ops. military run.
Another brilliant effort, Christine. It is mindboggling what we are up against. Utter incompetence mixed with atrocious mendacity. A hellish combination and all for the benefit of the pharmaceutical industry. Obviously, the planet would be an infinitely better, i.e. healthier, place without it.
Virology is like psychology, bull theories ?
not bull theories, but bull SH_T theories. ;)
I’m no scientist and I don’t pretend to understand all I digest on Substack but I do know I’m reading saintly work from our author here. Keep chipping away folks.
Hello Christine, I wanted to know if you are aware that the culling of hundreds of thousands of chickens that took place in Georgia and that the biolab doing gain of function is located in Athens Georgia, specifically working on avian flu? This is part of a much, much greater agenda that is leading humanity toward a one world government. We know that virology is a fraud and that no such creature exists and yet they pretend that they do, so the question is why? If you are aware of Matt Ehrett and Cynthia Chung of the Canadian Patriot website, I suggest watching the video series on the UFO hoax and see the players involved from H.G. Wells onward through the Manhattan Project and till this present day and the motive will become clear as to the why of all this madness. Thank you again for a truthful and accurate article, Jack Williams.
They're culling the FOOD SUPPLY.
Yes, I'm aware of the horrific culls that have been reported, apparently over 100 million birds in the U.S. in the last year or so. And the egg shortages and skyrocketing prices in some areas. Totally insane and criminal. The culls were the 1st thing I mentioned when addressing the RDCK Board (see the video in my newsletter, and I stressed this in my interview with Dan Dicks.
Re the gain of fiction labs, money-laundering is one possible explanation. Or, these people are actually really dumb. Probably a combination of factors.
Thanks for the info :)
And EGGS are a huge weapon against dementia...
They're after our food... Murkans eat a lot of chicken. AND eggs.
APHIS? That's to many letters. Thankfully not all the birds in my area have the flu. I can still hear them at 4:47 AM and at 6:33 PM. Haven't seen any throwing up or lying on the ground have convulsions.
The same dove is cooing on the roof peak on the next building and I wonder if it is the same one that has done it for about 3 years now. I even saw a few sea gulls (I think they are) in the Walmart parking lot for the first time. They were "flewing" quite well.
No big lakes or water around here. Maybe they were on vacation from Florida or something. The real hoax is our silly government. It is a dangerous monster completely out of control.
I’m confused. Can someone tell me when a virus became known as a particle?
virus(n.)
late 14c., "poisonous substance" (a sense now archaic), originally in pathology "pus, thin fluid discharged from a wound or sore;" from Latin virus "poison, poisonous liquid, sap of plants, slimy liquid, a potent juice," from Proto-Italic *weis-o-(s-) "poison."
This is reconstructed to be probably from a PIE root *ueis-,perhaps originally meaning“to melt away, to flow," used of foul or malodorous fluids, but with specialization in some languages to "poisonous fluid.”
VIRUS (among Physicians) a kind of watery stinking Matter, which issues out of Ulcers, being endued with eating and malignant Qualities. [Bailey's dictionary, 1770]
The PIE root also is reconstructed as the source of Sanskrit visam "venom, poison," visah "poisonous;" Avestan vish- "poison;" Latin viscum "sticky substance, birdlime;" Greek ios "poison," ixos "mistletoe, birdlime;" Old Church Slavonic višnja "cherry;" Old Irish fi "poison;" Welsh gwy "poison.”
virulence(n.)
1660s, "quality of being extremely acrimonious or poisonous;
virulent(adj.)c. 1400, in reference to wounds, ulcers, etc., "full of corrupt or poisonous matter," from Latin virulentus "poisonous," from virus "poison" (see virus). Hence of diseases, serpents,
plants, "full of poison, extremely malignant.”
particle(n.)
late 14c., "a bit or fragment, small part or division of a whole, minute portion of matter," from Latin particula "little bit or part, grain, jot," diminutive of pars (genitive partis) "a part, piece, division" (from PIE root *pere-
particle: noun
a very small piece of something
particles of dust/gold
dust/gold particles
There was not a particle of evidence (= no evidence at all) to support the case.
1
a
: a minute quantity or fragment
b
: a relatively small or the smallest discrete portion or amount of something
2
archaic : a clause or article of a composition or document
3
: any of the basic units of matter and energy (such as a molecule, atom, proton, electron, or photon)
The pseudoscientists have changed their concept of "virus" multiple times over the years. Stefan Lanka, Tom Cowan, the Baileys, Mike Stone and others would recall the details, I'm forgetful when it comes to stuff like that. They have believed and insisted for many decades that a virus is a replication-competent submicroscopic particle (an "intracellular obligate parasite") consisting of a "genome" surrounded by a proteinaceous shell, with or without an "envelope". Recall all the cartoons and images of "SARS-COV-2" that were shoved in our faces nonstop during the covid hoax?
As a Segway , what’s going on in Toronto & This NeuroVirus recently ? I was talking to an old friend in Toronto yesterday and she says it’s such a contagious virus!!!!! I it’s another scare that touching a doorhnob is dangerous! Heard about this ?
It's all bollocks. But washing the hands is a good thing. So saith the dog.
I haven't heard about it.
Thank you . That’s interesting . Maybe it’s the GPs who are saying this . My friend said she had two weeks of DIARRHEA & VOMITING, even dry vomiting with no foood in her stomach . She said she’d been told it’s a NeuroVirus going around . Thank you Christine for responding to me
Sounds like POISONING, since there is no such thing as a "virus."
Check out Tom Cowan or the Dr.s Bailey for a lesson on Germ Theory v. Terrain Theory. Pretty interesting stuff!
Yes I know about dr bailey and Cowan . I’m on the same side but was just wondering what this new scare was about . Thanks
A frustrated customer storms into the “The Lively Virus Shop,” gripping a vial labelled “Lively ‘Virus’ Sample.” The shop is a chaotic jungle of test tubes, petri dishes, and wildly uncalibrated lab equipment. A dusty, crooked sign above the counter reads: “We ‘Isolate’ the Liveliest ‘Viruses’ - So you Don’t Have To!” Next to it, a disclaimer in tiny print adds: “Definitions may vary. Refunds, however, are a known impossibility.”
Customer: [Slams vial onto the counter, rings the bell furiously] ‘Ello, I wish to register a complaint!
‘Virologist:’ [Enters cheerfully, lab coat covered in mysterious stains] Ah, yes sir! Welcome to “The Lively Virus Shop,” How can I assist you today?
Customer: Look, mate, I purchased this so-called ‘Lively Isolated' Parrot-Flu 'Virus’ from you not half an hour ago, and when I took it back to my lab… well, it’s dead!
‘Virologist:’ [Gasps theatrically, clutching chest] Dead? Oh no, no, no, sir! It’s not dead! It’s just dormant!
Customer: [Leaning in, fuming] Dormant?! The only thing it’s infecting is my patience! I’ve cultured it in Vero cells, flooded it with growth medium, and still - not a single cytopathic effect!
‘Virologist:’ [Smiling smugly, nodding] Ah, well, that’s where you’re mistaken, sir. It’s just… pining for Trypsin.
Customer: [Livid] Pining for Trypsin? What kind of nonsense is that? Look, I know a dead virus when I see one, and THIS, my friend, is stone-cold ‘virologically’ deceased!
‘Virologist:’ [Nods sagely] No, no, no, sir, it’s not dead - it’s just resting. Remarkable strain, ‘Parrot-Flu 'Virus,’ innit? Beautiful viral coat.
Customer: [Sarcastic, arms crossed] The viral coat doesn’t enter it! It’s completely non-infectious!
‘Virologist:’ [Pointing at the vial] Non-infectious? Oh no, no, no! It’s probably just having a nap after all those PCR amplifications. Happens all the time.
Customer: [Exploding, hands thrown up] NAPPING?! Look, mate, this virus wouldn’t bud if I injected it as part of blood serum directly into the brains of rabbits. It’s deader than Pasteur’s credibility!
‘Virologist:’ [Offended, crossing arms] Oh, come now! Don’t confuse ‘Parrot-Flu 'Virus,’ with the methods used for ‘West Nile River Virus.’ Different procedures, sir! You’ve simply got to be more patient – give it time to regenerate its spikes! Have you tried… [Winks cheekily] adding more Trypsin? Brings out the infectivity and spikes a treat!!
Customer: [Outraged, glaring] MORE Trypsin?! Mate, I’ve dumped that, and every toxic chemical known to science into this sample, and its still DOA! You sold me a dead virus!
‘Virologist:’ [Casually shakes the vial] There, see? It’s… gathering its strength!
Customer: [Furious, pointing] NO, IT ISN’T! You just shook the vial!
‘Virologist:’ [Feigning innocence] I did no such thing!
Customer: Yes, you did!
‘Virologist:’ [Casually shrugs] Alright, sir, let’s troubleshoot. Perhaps the problem lies in your cell culture conditions. Did you drown the cells in antibiotics to ensure it’s free of bacteria?
Customer: [Snaps, exasperated] Free of bacteria? The bacteria are fine, mate! It’s the 'virus' that’s gone to meet its maker! This 'virus' is no more! It has ceased to be! It has expired and gone to that big petri dish in the sky!
‘Virologist:’ [Still in denial, dismissive wave] Nonsense! It’s merely awaiting optimal conditions to display a proper cytopathic effect. Try running the PCR at 50 cycles - that should perk it up a bit!
Customer: [Furious, incredulous] PERK IT UP?! PERK IT UP?! Look, the PCR didn’t detect a single nucleotide! This 'virus' has shuffled off its proteinaceous coil, run down the replication curtain, and joined the bleedin’ quorum invisible! THIS IS AN EX-VIRUS!
‘Virologist:’ [Calmly, with a slight shrug] Well, if you’re that sure, I suppose I could offer you a… replacement sample…
Customer: [Sarcastic, arms crossed] Oh, wonderful. And will this one actually show some sign of life, or will it be as dead as the last one?
‘Virologist:’ [Grinning proudly] Oh no, no, no – this one’s a live one! Just isolated it this morning … from a computer model!
Customer: [Stares in disbelief] A… COMPUTER MODEL?!
‘Virologist:’ [Nods enthusiastically] The algorithms do all the work! No messy lab procedures, no awkward controls – just pure, state-of-the-art digital viroLIEgy!
Customer: [Storming out, shouting] That’s it, I’m done! You and your digital viruses can keep your bogus isolation! I’m off to find a real virus!
‘Virologist:’ [Calling after him, cheerfully] Well, if you find one, let me know! We could use it for the next Scamdemic!
This brilliant satire by Factscinator, styled after Monty Python’s “Dead Parrot” sketch, skewers the absurdities of modern virology with surgical wit. Set in a fictional storefront called The Lively Virus Shop, the piece lampoons the slippery definitions, circular reasoning, and digital wizardry that now pass for “virus isolation.” From the bogus sample labeled “Parrot-Flu” to the cheerful offer of a replacement conjured by computer model, the sketch exposes virology’s house of cards—where definitions are malleable, results are manufactured, and accountability is as dead as the virus in question.
🔬 Premise: The “Lively Virus Shop”
The sketch sets the stage in a fictional storefront—a kind of virological pawn shop—that specializes in selling supposedly “isolated” viruses. Right away, we’re in satire territory:
“We ‘Isolate’ the Liveliest ‘Viruses’ – So you Don’t Have To!” ridicules the mainstream claim of viral isolation, suggesting that what is marketed as "science" is really slippery salesmanship.
The fine print—“Definitions may vary. Refunds, however, are a known impossibility.”—takes a direct swipe at the ever-morphing virological language and the lack of accountability.
🤥 Characters and Dialogue: Mocking the Absurdities
The Customer represents a truth-seeker or skeptical scientist who believes in empirical results, i.e., “show me the virus.”
The ‘Virologist’ plays the part of the glib academic or bureaucrat who gaslights and obfuscates when pressed for actual scientific proof.
The parody brilliantly echoes the original Monty Python sketch:
“It’s not dead, it’s dormant!”
“It’s pining for Trypsin!”
(Trypsin, ironically, is used in cell cultures to promote infection—but here it’s turned into a laughable magic elixir.)
💀 Critique of Virology: The Main Targets
The piece lampoons several major claims of contemporary virology:
Viral Isolation Fallacy:
The satire questions whether viruses have ever been truly isolated. The joke here is that the “virus” in question shows no activity even when cultured by standard lab protocols. This reflects critiques from scientists like Drs. Sam & Mark Bailey and others who argue that no virus has been isolated in the classical sense (i.e., purified and proven pathogenic).
Cell Culture Manipulations:
The references to Vero cells, cytopathic effects, Trypsin, and antibiotics highlight the highly artificial and contaminated methods used to create “evidence” of viruses.
The idea that adding more toxic chemicals might revive a supposedly infectious agent is a dig at the absurd lengths some labs go to in order to “prove” viral presence.
PCR Overdrive:
“Run it at 50 cycles!” is a jab at the misuse of PCR—another frequent criticism. High cycle thresholds can create false positives and imaginary detection.
Digital Viruses:
The "replacement sample" from a computer model parodies the fact that many “viruses” today are not observed directly, but rather assembled via software from fragments. The “algorithms do all the work” line mocks the pseudo-scientific nature of such modeling.
Scamdemic Setup:
The closing line, “We could use it for the next Scamdemic!” pulls no punches. It paints the entire pandemic narrative as a staged fraud, using fictional pathogens to justify real-world authoritarian policies.
😂 Wordplay and Puns
The satire is peppered with verbal gems:
“Deader than Pasteur’s credibility” — a zinger aimed at the germ theory’s founder, whose legacy is increasingly challenged by terrain theorists.
“Joined the bleedin’ quorum invisible!” — a delightful mutation of the classic “choir invisible” idiom, tailored to virology.
“Digital viroLIEgy” — calling out the discipline as built on deceit.
🧠 Underlying Message
Beneath the absurdity lies a serious charge:
That mainstream virology is built on unprovable assumptions, circular logic, and a refusal to engage in honest falsification. The 'dead virus' that no one can prove was ever alive represents not just one product but the entire faith-based system of modern pathogen theory.
🎯 Final Verdict
"Factscinator" is a masterclass in weaponized satire.
It’s Monty Python meets medical heresy, laced with lab lingo and delivered with a scalpel of skepticism. A must-read for anyone questioning the foundational tenets of virus theory—or just looking for a good laugh at the expense of bad science.
Thank you Christine for your tireless, relentless - dog with a bone efforts and one day, if there is any justice - you will be officially recognised for your incredible contribution to shed light and bring account. Warmest Regards Emmett in Australia - where our corrupt government is as bad as anywhere else on planet Gaia
I say we Stackers should Officially Recognize her NOW. Why wait?